SHRM Day 2: What I Didn't Expect So Far

 

 

We all have expectations when we go to a conference like SHRM's annual confab in Washington, D.C., but some things you just don't expect.

I didn't expect the elevator system in my hotel to be so bizarre. The first time I rode it, I ran on before the doors closed and manically searched for the button to push to get to my floor. A man in the elevator explained to me that you have to push the button before you get on the elevator. Makes perfect sense … if you're worried about someone pushing the button for every floor as a sophomoric prank.

I didn't expect to watch Chile pound Mexico 7-0 in the Copa America tournament. I admittedly know very little about international soccer - football? - and domestic soccer for that matter, so I didn't expect to strike up a conversation with a man at the hotel bar from California who told me and my boss, Rick Bell, that Mexico's coach didn't play the team's best defender in the game. That's an outrage if it's true! What kind of management skills are those? Yeah, I didn't expect to play Monday-morning goalkeeper on Sunday evening. The man also told us he handles workers' comp claims for a large California-based farming company and that he was in town for SHRM conference. It's a small world after all.

I didn't expect to see the Cleveland Cavaliers win the NBA championship. I thought the Golden State Warriors had it in the bag, but I should have known a team known for shooting threes would have a hard time shooting for two. Championships, that is.

I didn't expect to see some not-so-shy rats running around the The District at night - and, no, that's not a political joke. Geez, give me a little credit.

I didn't expect to hear Mike Rowe, formerly of the Discovery Channel show “Dirty Jobs” describe the not-so-glorious origins of his television success story by telling an anecdote in his keynote address about his exploits in a San Francisco sewer. Note: There was also a frisky, attention-hogging rat in the tale - presumably with a tail - as well as thousands of cockroaches and bodily functions up the wazoo. Out the wazoo? As Rowe put it, “Anybody ever been in a sewer before? … The brain can only process so much horror.”

I didn't expect Alan Mulally, the former Boeing and Ford executive, to have an aw-shucks demeanor that was both charming and heartening in that he seemed to really put people first as part of his philosophy. I also didn't expect Mulally to say, “I think human resources professionals rock.” Oh, who am I kidding? What's he going to say to a room of HR people, “The C-suite rules; HR drools”?

I didn't expect the room Rowe and Mulally spoke in to resemble an airplane hangar. If you see a 747 double-parked outside the conference, now you know why.

I didn't expect to hear SHRM executives refer to my manager, Rick Bell, as Mike. Repeatedly. Mistakes happen. Right, Mike - er, Rick?

I didn't expect SHRM CEO Hank Jackson to take questions after his speech at a news conference about the success of SHRM's certification program. He didn't.

I didn't expect to walk to the gates of the White House lawn on a Sunday morning and have a half-dozen tourists bump into me trying to clear space to take pictures. I know you've probably come from a lot farther distance than I to see the White House, but arguably the most famous building in our country isn't going anywhere. Ever. You'll get your picture now or five minutes from now.

I didn't expect to get my picture taken in the Oval Office. I didn't, but the souvenir photos I got from a store near the White House appear to prove otherwise.

I didn't expect to learn that unpaid interns that have accidents in the workplace are OSHA and out, meaning unpaid interns have little recourse if they get hurt at work. Another reason to pay your interns.

I didn't expect to go to the same restaurant twice in one night: for dinner and later to watch the basketball game.

Finally, I didn't expect to stay up till 12:30 a.m. ET writing this blog, but I also didn't expect a phone call at 6:30 in the morning either. It was a wake-up call, but not my wake-up call. I picked up the phone and hung up only to realize after I got out of bed that it was way too early for my wake-up call. If I'm meeting with you today and I seem a bit groggy, now you know why.

James Tehrani is Workforce's managing editor. Follow Tehrani on Twitter at @WorkforceJames and like his blog on Facebook at “Whatever Works” blog.

 

Tags: expectations, SHRM 2016, Whatever Works

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